Are You The Photographer You Always Imagined You Would Be?

Over the weekend, I got to thinking about my own photographic journey, how and why I fell in love with photography, which photographers I most admired in the past was well as now, and where I thought photography would take me.  Then the question, which is the title to this post, along with some others, popped into my head.

Am I the photographer I imaged that I would be when I first fell in love with photography?

The other questions that came to mind as I thought this through are:

Do I now make the kind of images I thought, as a young man, I would make?
Do I now make the kind of images that are my favorite kinds?
Has my photography made a difference in mine, or others', lives?
What value has my photography brought to my life?
Where will my photography go in the years ahead?

This post is not about me, but really about you.  Have you thought of these same questions at sometime during your photographic journey?

Here are some of my thoughts concerning those questions.

Am I the photographer I imaged that I would be when I first fell in love with photography?

When I first fell in love with photography, in the spring of 1970, I dreamed of being a world traveling photojournalist or documentary photographer.  The predominant photography of my formative years was that in Life and Look magazines, with their documentary photography by some of the greats.  I won't forget the "Country Doctor" series, the series about "Albert Schweitzer" and "Minimata."  W. Eugene Smith was my hero.  Henri Carier-Bresson's work is spellbinding. I also loved the documentary photography of the Farm Security Administration, namely Dorothea Lange, Walker Evans, Authur Rothstein, Russell Lee, Gordon Parks, and Carly Mydans to name several.  They traveled about and documented America, especially the individuals who were downtrodden and migrating west due to the great dust storms.  I was absolutely fascinated by their documentary work.  Not only did I look at their work in magazines and books, but traveled to museums to see their prints on exhibit.  One anomalous photographer to this group who fascinated me was and still is Ansel Adams.  He took reality to an surreal level and I was mesmerized by his landscape work from the American West.

The other major photographic influence on me at the time was the war in Vietnam.  I was in college from 1969-73, the height of the Vietnam War.  Everyday, photographs appeared in the newspapers and magazines about the men and women in our armed forces, the battles, the wounded and their struggles.  Even more importantly, the documentation of how the war affected the lives of the people of Vietnam was especially moving to me.  I wanted to be there documenting all of it also.  I loved the work of Larry Burrows and Eddie Adams.

I never became a photographer of wars or a photographer of individuals' lives, but I accidentally did become a documentary photographer of sorts.  Read on.

Some of my favorite photographers today are William Albert Allard, David Alan Harvey, Helen Levitt, Bruce Davidson, Saul Leiter, Harold Mante, Sam Abell, Eliot Porter, Ansel Adams and, of course, the ones I mentioned above.

Do I now make the kind of images I thought, as a young man, I would make?

Heavens no.  However, I have had a very interesting photographic journey.  For many years, as a young forensic police detective, I worked over 100 death investigations.  I photographed homicides, suicides and accidental deaths.  I photographed men with their heads literally blown off by self-inflicted shotgun wounds.  I photographed murdered babies callously thrown in trash cans.  I have photographed individuals who had been stabbed over 100 times.  I  photographed bullet wounds, knife wounds, drownings, deomposed bodies and deaths by intense fire.  I photographed traffic accidents where cars had rolled over on the heads of their drivers as they were ejected from the vehicles.  I photographed elderly individuals who died alone, with no family and no friends for them to say goodbye.  I photographed drug deals on surveillance detail.  I learned infrared and ultraviolet evidence photography.  You name it in law enforcement, and I photographed it.  I got into law enforcement by accident and I never would have dreamed I would have made those types of photographs.  But with each one, I tried to learn and remember.

Later in my career, I acted as the defacto "city photographer", photographing development and redevelopment projects, portraits of city officials, special events, aerial surveys, "grip and grins" as they say, ground breakings, museum exhibits and the like.  Any time the city needed something photographed, they called me.

Personally, instead of working part-time security jobs, I photographed weddings and made photographs for advertising firms.  All of this contributed to my being able to figure out how to successfully photograph any assignment.  AND—I loved every minute of that time of my life!

Today, I travel and photograph for stock as well as personal satisfaction.  I mainly photograph landscapes and nature as well as just ordinary things to which we never pay attention.  I'm very happy with what I have done and am doing now. There is a great amount of satisfaction in looking back at my files and looking ahead at the whole world that is in front of me for the future.

Do I now make the kind of images that are my favorite kinds?

Still, my favorite images are "street photography" and "documentary photography."  Am I making my favorite kinds of photographs?  No, but that is okay.  I am happy with where my photography has brought me and where I am going.

Has my photography made a difference in mine, or others', lives?

The answer is a resounding yes.

When I was a forensic detective, investigated and photographed crime scenes as well as gathered evidence, those photographs supported the convictions of hundreds of murderers, rapists, robbers, and others who committed violent crimes, etc.  Without those photographs in most cases, guilty verdicts may not have been as forthcoming.  The graphic display of a murder victim, a deceased child or the wounds on a rape victim who had been brutally beaten were powerful testimony for judges and jurors to consider.

Additionally, the thousands of family photographs I have made have left a huge historical record for my children, grandchildren and beyond.

Lastly, I have sold many prints for wall art as well as licensed many images for editorial, commercial and personal use.  Each of those who spent money for my images did so for a purpose.

What value has my photography brought to my life?

Photography has enriched my life in many ways.  First, I have come to appreciate what it takes to become a good or great photographer.  I have learned to value and appreciate art in general.  Photography has allowed me to be creative.  Photography has allowed me to meet many fine people and become friends with many of them.  Photography has allowed me, after traveling, to bring back visual memories of the places I have been and experiences I have had.  Photography has also allowed me to teach others and help others to enjoy the craft.

Working in law enforcement for over 30 years can sometimes cause a person to acquire a skewed vision of life.  Seeing and dealing with the worst of society as well as bad news, tragedy and death every day for years takes a toll on one's psyche.  Photography provided me with the creative outlet to throw off the stress of work and the things with which I had to deal and create something beautiful and meaningful to me. Photography has given me direction and purpose over the years and kept me sane.  Photography has been the one constant in my life since 1970 and I am thankful for it.

Where will my photography go in the years ahead?

I'm hoping to continue writing this blog as well as traveling as much as possible, exploring with my camera and words.  Planned in May is a 4-week road trip which should provide the opportunity to explore and capture interesting and historical places.  I am looking forward to this upcoming trip and I will write more about it in the near future.  Also, I will continue to keep my vision sharp in keenly observing my surroundings to record interesting and serendipitous things upon which I may happen.

I photographed mostly in black and white for many years at the beginning of my photographic journey, taking time to learn the Zone System, learning to develop large format film, one sheet at a time, running experiments and making my own prints.  I even built a large darkroom in my garage.  I want to get back to black and white.  It seems to still be calling out to me.  One of the reasons that the new Fujifilm cameras intrigue me is what I have read about the quality of their in-camera black and white conversions of image files.  If they are that good, I could see myself setting the camera to RAW + JPEG and setting the JPEGs for black and white.

Photography has been really good to me and I am very appreciative that I have been fortunate to practice it for so long and in many places.  Now that you have read my thoughts on these questions, it is time for you to think about how you would answer them and others that may come to your mind about your personal journey through photography.

Thanks for looking. Enjoy!

Dennis Mook

Many of my images can be found at www.dennismook.com.  Please pay it a visit.  I add new images regularly.  Thank you.


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