What Kind of Friend are You?

Abandoned Car, Painted Desert National Monument, Arizona

www.dennismook.com

What's the difference between a good friend and a best friend?
A good friend will help you move.  A best friend will help you move a body!

Last week, two friends of mine had surgery.  Since one of them lives locally, I spent the time he was in surgery in the surgical waiting room with his wife and step-daughter.  The other lives out of state, which meant I could not be there for him, even though I wished I could have.  I wouldn't even think of not being there for these guys.

These two incidents got me to thinking about friendship.  What is friendship?  Am I really the kind of friend that I should be?  Are there those who I think are my friends who are really acquaintances?  Are there different degrees of friendship?  Are there different stages of friendship?

I Googled "Friend" and this is what returned:
friend

/frend/

Noun A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

Verb Add (someone) to a list of contacts associated with a social networking Web site.

Synonyms pal - mate - chum - buddy - comrade - fellow - companion I then started to nose around the web to see what has been written about friends.  Here are my thoughts after doing some reading. What makes a Friend?  He or she... -respects you -cares about you -forgives you for your mistakes, misdeeds, things you might say or do -trusts you -is honest with you -accepts you for who you are--faults, imperfections and all -is loyal to you -has fun with you -gives you good advice when asked -helps you or offers to help you when needed -supports you and what you are trying to do, whether long term or short term -is there in the bad times as well as the good times -never takes advantage of you -lets you help them when you see they need help and he or she may be reticent to allow you to help -allows you to express your emotions without being critical -is not judgmental of you -listens actively to you and is not listening while doing something else -keeps in contact with you, even if you are far apart -can keep a confidentiality--you never have to worry that a confidence will be broken -will never intentionally hurt you I seem to classify people in my life in concentric circles.  As an individual, through time, experience, trust, mutual agreement, commonalities, etc., may move closer or farther in those concentric circles of friendship. The outer most concentric circle is where my acquaintances reside. These are people I know in passing or even see regularly but would not call them a friend.  They know me and I know them.  That is about as far as it goes.  There is no real personal relationship. The next circle I call my friends.  These are people who I have developed a perfunctory relationship.  We may have shared lunch, spoken on the phone a few times, have some common interests and even possibly helped, in either direction.  I don't see these people often, but I am fond of them and would help out if asked. Within the third circle are my good friends.  These are the individuals with whom I have shared much about my life and know me pretty well.  I trust these good friends and enjoy spending lots of time with them sharing values, experiences, successes, failures, common interests and having robust conversations.  I care an awful lot about these individuals, love to laugh with them and would help them at the drop of a hat.  We have history, loyalty, trust, mutual respect, acceptance and too much fun! The innermost circle are my best friends.  There are not many there.  That is not for lack of friends, it is just that I am the type of person who likes to have a very few very close friends.  My best friends are on the same level as my family.  I would do anything for them.  They are the ones with which I would share things that I wouldn't dare share with anyone else.  They are the very first I would call with great news or bad news.  They feel the same way about me and that is the real difference. So, what kind of friend are you?  Whatever kind you feel you need to be, just be a friend to someone who needs your friendship. Enjoy! Thanks for looking. Dennis Mook